sometimessam

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Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 5:05am)

sometimessam

4Fucked!

sometimessamsometimessam
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4312
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sometimessam : My name is Samantha and I live in the incredibly rainy part of the USA.

I love skiing, scuba diving, watching football, and reading random books.

sometimessam's page activity

Visits<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 11:56am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:55pm<b>dno79</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:08am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:30pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:19am<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:43pm<b>tumbleshay</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:47pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:15pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:27pm<b>sprigs_</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:56pm<b>bvbgleek</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:38pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:11am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:29pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:15am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:25am<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:07am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:54pm

Fucked!<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:27am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:07am<b>johnnyiskeenan</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:51am<b>adancer34</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:12am

sometimessam's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of sometimessam's badges

sometimessam's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

by betrayed / 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

by fuck you, kid / 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

by Hiimhaileypotter / 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

by Ob3nie / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

by akaka / 07/14/2014 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

by photoman / 07/14/2014 at 5:31am / Austria (Wien) / Geek

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

by justthinkofyourhand / 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

by all puked out / 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Intimacy

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids