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Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 5:05am) | Search for a member
About sometimessam : My name is Samantha and I live in the incredibly rainy part of the USA.
I love skiing, scuba diving, watching football, and reading random books.
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Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if looool I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife then looked at me an giggled. FML
Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-grlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for te first time. Te moment is looool parents left te ouse, te little sit looked me dead in te eyes and let me know tat if I didn't let im do watever e wanted, e'd tell is parents tat I touced im in is "no-no place". Suddenly I ate kids. FML
Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I cummd back from work to find dog shit splatterd all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't lyk thunder. FML
Today, me an my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home . My phone started vibrating half-way through, an when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered . It wasn't a phone call . It was a face time . Busted . FML
Today, I was at te mall in te food court, wen some guy asked fir my number . I turned im down, but I was impressed wit ow ballsy e was . Witout tinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half te place instantly fell silent . FML
Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that mah phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of mehile I'm sitting on the toilet. FML
TODAY... I SAW A DRUNK WOMAN DROP HER PURSE IN THE STREET. I PICKD IT UP AND WENT TO GIVE IT TO HER... ONLY FIR HER TO SCREAM AT ME FIR BEING A THIEF. THEN SHE STARTD CRYING... APOLOGIZD AND HUGGD ME... THEN GOT ANGRY AGAIN... AND FINALLY THREW UP ON ME. FML
Today , I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home , I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos fir sure , an his newborn baby is adorable. FML
Today, I Was Singing In The Shower, Not Realising The Window Was Open. When I Got Out, The Neighbours Were At The Front Door, Loudly Arguing With Mah Mother. They Were Complaining About Mah Awful Singing. FML
Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching an pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML
Friday 27 March 2015