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sometimessam

Offline (the 05/29/2014 at 3:02am) | Search for a member

sometimessam

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 112
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sometimessam : My name is Samantha and I live in the incredibly rainy part of the USA.

I love skiing, scuba diving, watching football, and reading random books.

sometimessam's page activity

Visits<b>aliceanon</b> - one hour ago<b>csharpm7</b> - yesterday at 10:28am<b>swharley</b> - yesterday at 7:34am<b>Anapaob</b> - yesterday at 4:35am<b>ShowMeKay</b> - yesterday at 11:51pm<b>killthedead</b> - yesterday at 11:11pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:35pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:55pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:12am<b>smileyyyfaceee</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:42pm<b>somebodywhocares</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:45pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:39pm<b>notabasicbitch</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:36pm<b>savery</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:54pm<b>Chaoticthor</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:26am<b>KingofBogans</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:44am<b>Boooooooooop</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:08am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:44pm

sometimessam's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of sometimessam's badges

sometimessam's favorite FMLs

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (4805)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34943) - you deserved it (11677)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (7603)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38494) - you deserved it (4446)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53671) - you deserved it (3822)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49613) - you deserved it (3341)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35885) - you deserved it (4491)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26978) - you deserved it (42754)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (4976)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I was informed by a laughing friend, that my phone must be taking and uploading photos to Google+. Among numerous black shots, there is a particularly nice one of me while I'm sitting on the toilet. FML

#21208679
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34804) - you deserved it (5249)

On 07/14/2014 at 5:31am - misc - by photoman (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML

#21208167
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39461) - you deserved it (4228)

On 07/13/2014 at 6:36pm - love - by justthinkofyourhand - United States (California)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45774) - you deserved it (3745)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands



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