sometimessam

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Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 5:05am)

sometimessam

4Fucked!

sometimessamsometimessam
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3532
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sometimessam : My name is Samantha and I live in the incredibly rainy part of the USA.

I love skiing, scuba diving, watching football, and reading random books.

sometimessam's page activity

Visits<b>dno79</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:08am<b>tiger820</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:30pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 5:19am<b>ncbb5</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:43pm<b>tumbleshay</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:47pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:15pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:27pm<b>sprigs_</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:56pm<b>bvbgleek</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:22pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 5:38pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 4:11am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:29pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:15am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:25am<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:07am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:54pm<b>plan_Z</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 2:28am<b>sarahashleyxo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:25pm

Fucked!<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:27am<b>Stoppy23</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:07am<b>johnnyiskeenan</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:51am<b>adancer34</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:12am

sometimessam's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of sometimessam's badges

sometimessam's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

by Dafuq happen there / 08/23/2014 at 3:34am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

by royallymessedup / 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm / Love

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

by ithinkicanmakeit / 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

by StephLo / 08/18/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 12:38am / France / Animals

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

by bademployee / 08/12/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.