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sometimessam

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sometimessam

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 160
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About sometimessam : My name is Samantha and I live in the incredibly rainy part of the USA.

I love skiing, scuba diving, watching football, and reading random books.

sometimessam's page activity

Visits<b>adam97</b> - 3 hours ago<b>badnelly123</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Cacksonic</b> - 21 hours ago<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - 21 hours ago<b>jayeterror775</b> - 21 hours ago<b>swedeNix</b> - 23 hours ago<b>ironhead</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Bradddddders</b> - yesterday at 3:50am<b>skygage</b> - yesterday at 2:32am<b>airborneranger7</b> - yesterday at 11:40pm<b>diesel_power</b> - yesterday at 10:42pm<b>Llamassss</b> - yesterday at 10:34pm<b>DHoang22</b> - yesterday at 10:13pm<b>A07</b> - yesterday at 9:52pm<b>japodoz</b> - yesterday at 7:34pm<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - yesterday at 6:09pm<b>adrianvons</b> - yesterday at 4:54pm

sometimessam's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of sometimessam's badges

sometimessam's favorite FMLs

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20082) - you deserved it (3731)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30368) - you deserved it (2201)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35707) - you deserved it (12885)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (38450)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33802) - you deserved it (3532)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (46208)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33626) - you deserved it (4932)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

#21237143
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33317) - you deserved it (7702) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/14/2014 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36225) - you deserved it (3381)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

#21236078
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (18508)

On 08/12/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by bademployee (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36049) - you deserved it (21900)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34158) - you deserved it (4075) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40996) - you deserved it (6573)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel



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