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sasahsmiles

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sasahsmiles
  • Town/Country : 'Murica
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 140
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sasahsmiles's favorite FMLs

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30633) - you deserved it (5199)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (6437)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, despite the fact of being together two years, and having a daughter, my fiancée still refuses to tell her parents about us. We're getting married in six months. FML

#20527880
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (5157)

On 03/02/2013 at 8:31am - love - by OhNo - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58172) - you deserved it (5070)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you deserved it (5848)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (5134)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49907) - you deserved it (3563)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39330) - you deserved it (3256)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47782) - you deserved it (3182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (7652)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36729) - you deserved it (9882)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34699) - you deserved it (4991)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41250) - you deserved it (2138)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (6347)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)



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