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sarah2144

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sarah2144

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  • Number of visits : 9334
  • Number of comments : 205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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sarah2144's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75792) - you deserved it (6559)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45854) - you deserved it (7642)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49806) - you deserved it (7802)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61843) - you deserved it (3120)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

#3929849
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51833) - you deserved it (5784)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

#3676962
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52440) - you deserved it (27237)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML

#3496673
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75432) - you deserved it (3998)

On 07/05/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53029) - you deserved it (23628)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62742) - you deserved it (12193)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

#3201910
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (11220)

On 06/25/2009 at 10:13am - work - by KN (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

#3061560
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (8454)

On 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by WhyTheFNot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72979) - you deserved it (5398)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139739) - you deserved it (10002)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119509) - you deserved it (73981)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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