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sarah2144

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sarah2144

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  • Number of visits : 9333
  • Number of comments : 205
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sarah2144's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

#12225863
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28243) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by Monkey (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (2298)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (9454)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45666) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

#6364461
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7342) - you deserved it (33697)

On 11/19/2009 at 1:10am - kids - by fail (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually part of his costume. FML

#6133031
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (6461)

On 11/03/2009 at 9:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

#5910203
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43051) - you deserved it (5590)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52967) - you deserved it (26883)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

#5565061
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14517) - you deserved it (32606)

On 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by explodingpupppet (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64437) - you deserved it (4718)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (3273)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66793) - you deserved it (9033)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

#5522112
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38160) - you deserved it (4729)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)



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