About samreimer : I love guitar hero, and hate pickles.
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Why am I up so early?
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samreimer's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm / United States (Kansas) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by scared shitless / 12/10/2013 at 4:50am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids
by Stripes_And_Dots / 09/14/2013 at 2:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by lyfisdyno / 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
by ass slap / 08/11/2013 at 11:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by fun / 06/16/2013 at 12:54am / United States / Love
Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML
by irishbubble / 06/04/2013 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
- Today, I visited a new tattoo parlor, as my previous artist made me uncomfortable with his drunken,… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my…