ryan__h

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ryan__h

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 73207
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ryan__h's page activity

Visits<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:57am<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:13pm<b>TheMarshmellow</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:57pm<b>AJ12o4</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 6:19pm<b>mandapanda17</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 5:53pm<b>whyel</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:30pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:19am<b>midnightwi5h</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 3:58pm<b>Welgemoed</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 9:45pm<b>bestpokemon</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 5:33pm<b>KickAzzGrandma</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 1:55am<b>angylee</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 12:20pm<b>MamaJenn</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 11:20pm<b>ThatDudeKaizen</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 4:07pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:50pm<b>puggle12345</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 8:35pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:02am<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 09/20/2010 at 10:36pm

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ryan__h's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

by itstillhurts / 12/20/2009 at 11:23pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

by Tib / 12/18/2009 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 1:17am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Kids

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

by JustMyLuck / 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy