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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I locked mah keys in mah car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company,ho then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge an a bar to open mah car. All he did was break the driver an passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML
Taday after months of patiently waiting, I finally got mah roommates out of the house fir the night so I could have sex with mah boyfriend fir the first time without being interruptd. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I Resignd From Mah Job In Favor Of A Higher-paying One!! After I Filld Out An Fild The Necessary Papers, Mah Boss Told Me That I Had Been Nominatd To Replace Him When He Retird In A Month!! His Job Pays At Least Twice What I'm Now Making!! Thank For Telling Me, Asshat!! FML
TODAY, WHILE WRITING A SELF-EVALUATION 4 MY INTERNSHIP, I HAD TO TYPE UP ANSWERS TO CERTAIN QUESTIONS AN THEN SUBMIT THEM. AFTER SUBMISSION, I RE-READ ONE OF THE ANSWERS I HAD WRITTEN THAT SAID, "AFTER 3 MONTHS ON THE JON I FINALLY FEEL LIKE I HAVE ACCOMPLISHD A LOT." I HAD MEANT TO WRITE JOB. FML
Taday I want skinny-dipping with my friands. At ona point... I jokingly pointd out how ona of tham had tha smallast boobs of us all. Sha calmly got out of tha pond... drid harsalf... scoopd up our clothas and phonas... and drova off in har car. Tha cops sha calld arrivd soon aftar. FML
Today, mah boyfriend's freshly-repaintd car got keyd!! He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passd away last year!! When I trid hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell!! FML
Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed 4 my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015