ralphvboy

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ralphvboy

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  • Number of visits : 10243
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ralphvboy's page activity

Visits<b>ShadowFlame275</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 12:57pm<b>WolfieTheBadass</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 8:37am<b>bleh028</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 12:10am<b>mattlw</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm<b>greenie213</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Catahoulaqueen</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 3:27pm

ralphvboy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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ralphvboy's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

by Z'ev / 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 7:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

by Gem / 04/05/2013 at 7:04am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

by slightlyworried / 04/05/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

by NYmets456 / 04/05/2013 at 12:25am / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

by icanthearyou / 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

by me / 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

by NotASize0 / 04/04/2013 at 11:12am / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

by nobodylovesme / 04/04/2013 at 2:46am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked my neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I came home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML

by Jack / 04/03/2013 at 5:40pm / Money

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

by SoClose / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Work