This member hasn't filled in the description.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14486) - you deserved it (2800)
On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria
Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (1136)
On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6120) - you deserved it (6554)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20267) - you deserved it (2665)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21170) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (1676)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by gutted (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7774) - you deserved it (116884)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (2471)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (2857)
On 05/05/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (1554) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -
Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (1998)
On 05/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13182) - you deserved it (1495)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm - love - by AnonymousUser (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35497) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15796) - you deserved it (2819)
On 04/10/2012 at 6:48am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
