postoso

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postoso

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4268
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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postoso's page activity

Visits<b>isabelf</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:06pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:20am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:50am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 4:18am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 12:18am<b>vivaladino</b> - the 12/25/2011 at 1:52am

postoso's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of postoso's badges

postoso's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

by brianfantana32 / 09/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

by sincerely depressed. / 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

by rs / 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous