postoso

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/17/2016 at 8:23am)

postoso

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3301
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About postoso : Yo

postoso's page activity

Visits<b>isabelf</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:06pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 12:20am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:50am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 4:18am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 12:18am<b>vivaladino</b> - the 12/25/2011 at 1:52am

postoso's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of postoso's badges

postoso's favorite FMLs

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

by nic / 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

by Chelsea / 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

by mugs / 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

by MoneyMike / 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

by ouch / 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

by cynicalcindy / 02/19/2009 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

by mags / 02/16/2009 at 10:05am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Oregon) / Geek

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

by neversayhiagain / 02/10/2009 at 12:58am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

by name50 / 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous