Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

picante72

Search for a member

picante72
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 June 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 222
  • Number of comments : 220
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About picante72 : Love everything, hate nothing.

picante72's last visitors

KkkdawgUhscanherdarkleeCatkam623WeWereWealth7LilCheenoAssTardbillyz77rossistbossignoremeimweirdbaba01

picante72's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of picante72's badges

picante72's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

#20043524
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (1541)

On 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted, "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (927)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27321) - you deserved it (3669)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23779) - you deserved it (2627)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

#19806668
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you deserved it (1618)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13592) - you deserved it (1449)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (35858)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11233) - you deserved it (32366)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

#15114722
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (3299)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Ldp56 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

#14179571
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4319) - you deserved it (81751)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (4936)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9140) - you deserved it (85392)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (6791)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38515) - you deserved it (2230)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: