About picante72 : Love everything, hate nothing.
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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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picante72's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
by yikes / 03/02/2013 at 10:32am / United States / Animals
Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
by an idiot / 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm / Australia / Money
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
by apparentlythereisnokarma / 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by satega / 12/10/2012 at 2:07pm / United States (Missouri) / Holidays
by ouch. / 12/08/2012 at 5:44am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML
by sonofahypocriticalwhore / 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML
by FMyEx / 12/06/2012 at 6:50am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…