Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1879
  • Number of comments : 797
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 24 posted

About patrickalamo : I got my very first FML posted. However, 16+ failures there after.
A work in progress.

patrickalamo's page activity

Visits<b>knoelani</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:30pm<b>wtffml1979</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 7:14am<b>mcklewhore</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:56pm<b>cadillacgal79</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:48pm<b>lewisAW123</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:45pm<b>stevieman99</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:21pm<b>pixelatedandroid</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:43pm<b>TheOnlyMizLiv</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:27pm<b>Luxoflux</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:37pm<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:43pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:50pm<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:04pm<b>yesimoverthirty</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:42pm<b>weekendhero</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 11:49am<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 6:26pm<b>six922</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:36pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 9:40am

Liked!<b>knoelani</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 7:30pm

patrickalamo's FML badges


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of patrickalamo's badges

patrickalamo's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53136) - you deserved it (9094)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13947) - you deserved it (35745)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: