Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

patrickalamo

Online | Search for a member

patrickalamo

42Liked!

patrickalamopatrickalamo
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2271
  • Number of comments : 938
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 24 posted

About patrickalamo : I got my very first FML posted and just thought everything got posted. However, 20+ failures there after.
A work in progress.
Yes, pic number two is Howard Stern dressed in drag... It is my favorite Christmas ornament.
If I viewed your profile you either had a cool comment or pic... Or I could have just been trying to figure out what was in your pick. More than likely I gave you a fuck, for no particular reason.








What are you still doing here go write some comments.

patrickalamo's page activity

Visits<b>_ashole</b> - 4 hours ago<b>ninjakitty254</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Faylynx</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Jinxsie</b> - 7 hours ago<b>TKCat</b> - 8 hours ago<b>colton_colton</b> - 13 hours ago<b>buckdharma</b> - 13 hours ago<b>LaurenRoxsU</b> - 13 hours ago<b>ChewyGranola</b> - 15 hours ago<b>labracabrador</b> - 16 hours ago<b>LeavenSilva</b> - 16 hours ago<b>liammarkowitz</b> - 16 hours ago<b>MARGIE9</b> - 18 hours ago<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - 23 hours ago<b>WildaRora</b> - yesterday at 2:44am<b>chickenlips23</b> - yesterday at 12:37am<b>surranger</b> - yesterday at 5:26pm<b>Lesser</b> - yesterday at 4:16pm

Liked!<b>TKCat</b> - 2 hours ago<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - 17 hours ago<b>WildaRora</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:25am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:21am<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:41pm<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:28pm<b>Chelserser</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 4:10pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:11pm<b>icekitten14</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 4:41pm<b>CuriousYel1ow</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 3:58pm<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:16pm<b>oreily12</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:12am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:30am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:23am<b>serslybro</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 7:13am<b>mete_orito</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:39am

patrickalamo's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of patrickalamo's badges

patrickalamo's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my new roommate. I hadn't even gotten her name yet, because the first thing she said to me instead was that she wanted to hang her confederate flag on the wall. I'm black. FML

#21326235
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35472) - you deserved it (4278)

On 12/29/2014 at 12:00am - misc - by okay17 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53301) - you deserved it (9119)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13981) - you deserved it (35820)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: