Search for a member

Offline (the 08/06/2015 at 4:43am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4364
  • Number of comments : 1065
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 35 posted

About patrickalamo : Ok I'm so obsessed with badges I started a Facebook group "FML Badges". It is a new page but it is there to seek and give advice on earning badges.
I got my very first FML posted and just thought everything got posted. However, 20+ failures there after.
A work in progress.
Yes, pic number two is Howard Stern dressed in drag... It is my favorite Christmas ornament.
If I viewed your profile you either had a cool comment or pic... Or I could have just been trying to figure out what was in your pick. More than likely I gave you a fuck, for no particular reason.

What are you still doing here go write some comments.

patrickalamo's page activity

Visits<b>majesticous</b> - yesterday at 6:42am<b>AlpacaKing</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 9:22am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 3:59am<b>MoroseMoose</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 5:06pm<b>BodyCountEndless</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 3:36pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 12:03pm<b>Axelgirl</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 4:47am<b>viciousquirrel</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 11:27pm<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 12:23pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 6:59pm<b>Bryan64</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 2:18pm<b>optimusic</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 12:10am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 4:11pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 8:56am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 5:25pm<b>ouijacorn</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 3:06am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:45am<b>ilytyvm</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 6:08pm

Fucked!<b>Axelgirl</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 7:55pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:58pm<b>dillpick88</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:40am<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 9:57pm<b>courtly25</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 4:22am<b>andrmac</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 4:28am<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 10:23am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 1:28pm<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:41am<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:40am<b>stangbang92</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:18am<b>emeraldisle</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:03pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:36pm<b>starla_xoxo</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 7:08pm<b>Risea</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 10:35pm<b>kfchicken</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:05am<b>Etched</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:29pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:03am

patrickalamo's FML badges


You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

See all of patrickalamo's badges

patrickalamo's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was startled by my roommate marching a drunk man out of our apartment. Somehow he found his way in complete darkness into the bathroom without alerting me or my dog next to the only door. He mistook the clothes hamper for the toilet. FML

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

by ManchotDesAndes / 02/26/2015 at 2:35am / Kids

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

by failuretolaunch2 / 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

by natashamilan / 02/25/2015 at 8:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

by Fuck / 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

by need sleep / 02/25/2015 at 11:53am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

by cat-astrophic / 02/25/2015 at 10:44am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I was telling my friends that I'd gotten a paid position to cover a worker's bereavement leave for the next three weeks. They then called me an insensitive bitch for 'profiting from someone else's misfortune'. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2015 at 6:51am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2015 at 5:33am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

by ruthlessrobin / 02/25/2015 at 1:31am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

by Like mother like daughter / 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy