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onlychildFTW

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onlychildFTW

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3639
  • Number of comments : 1864
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About onlychildFTW : You can call me gov'nor.

I'm not a grammar nazi. I'm also not a fan of having my grammar corrected on here. If you get my drift. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Life is like a rock, it changes through its lifetime until it gets eroded to nothing. Like when we die and rot in the ground.

Really not much else to write. NO GRAMMAR NAZI's! Hydra is welcome though.

The car in my picture is a 2009 Bugatti Veyron 16.4 with a 2008 Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren next to it.






















If you read this far I'll tell you my secret, it's...


























Yeah, you creep to much. Also, what's with all the topless guy profile pictures on FML? Looking for a date or what?

I'm on blue. :)
No more blue with the new app :'(

onlychildFTW's page activity

Visits<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Atalia</b> - yesterday at 12:40pm<b>niightmares</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:59pm<b>bjixq</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 5:17pm<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:59pm<b>Connerm</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:42pm<b>LSPadvtime</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:54pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:31am<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:20am<b>steftriv</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:14am<b>mandiandersen426</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:05pm<b>queenjag</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:12pm<b>alexfbrz</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Cavenyanson</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:15pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:42am<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 5:27am<b>dillonfi</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 3:52pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:48am

Liked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - 10 hours ago<b>mateo2277</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:42am<b>WarriorOmen</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:33am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:13pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:12pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:46pm<b>LEGATE_LANIUS</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:24am

onlychildFTW's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of onlychildFTW's badges

onlychildFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24744) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

#21361729
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29144) - you deserved it (4929)

On 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30716) - you deserved it (3708)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29900) - you deserved it (2273)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

#21359857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (2795)

On 02/20/2015 at 2:25pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

#21357430
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (11922)

On 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by cactii - United States

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32600) - you deserved it (2692)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

#21355097
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (2578)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm - money - by NotMacklemore - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (3306)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML

#21353086
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (4980)

On 02/09/2015 at 11:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML

#21352876
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/09/2015 at 6:07pm - kids - by brazo667 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (7082)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (5759)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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