About onlychildFTW : You can call me gov'nor.
I'm not a grammar nazi. I'm also not a fan of having my grammar corrected on here. If you get my drift. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
Life is like a rock, it changes through its lifetime until it gets eroded to nothing. Like when we die and rot in the ground.
Really not much else to write. Oh, I only use the FML app so if you do message me, I won't get it. Don't take it personally if I don't respond.
The car in my picture is a 2009 Bugatti Veyron 16.4 with a 2008 Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren next to it.
If you read this far I'll tell you my secret, it's...
Yeah, you creep to much.
I'm on blue. :)
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (37253)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9192) - you deserved it (19238)
On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (37278) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21052) - you deserved it (1448)
On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (2302)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13503) - you deserved it (6820)
On 04/25/2012 at 12:50am - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - Sweden
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10358) - you deserved it (34452)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13348) - you deserved it (34270)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to family therapy because my mom wanted the family to be closer. When asked what her biggest disappointment was in life, she turned to me and said, "Having a gay son" then patted my hand, smiled, and said "No offense, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (4961)
On 04/06/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by Sadboy (man) - United States
Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5192) - you deserved it (17941)
On 04/03/2012 at 7:11am - misc - by thatscreamerguy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17098) - you deserved it (4863)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (3566)
On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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