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onlychildFTW

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onlychildFTW

16Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3817
  • Number of comments : 1882
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About onlychildFTW : You can call me gov'nor.

I'm not a grammar nazi. I'm also not a fan of having my grammar corrected on here. If you get my drift. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Life is like a rock, it changes through its lifetime until it gets eroded to nothing. Like when we die and rot in the ground.

Really not much else to write. NO GRAMMAR NAZI's! Hydra is welcome though.

The car in my picture is a 2009 Bugatti Veyron 16.4 with a 2008 Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren next to it.






















If you read this far I'll tell you my secret, it's...


























Yeah, you creep to much. Also, what's with all the topless guy profile pictures on FML? Looking for a date or what?

I'm on blue. :)
No more blue with the new app :'(

onlychildFTW's page activity

Visits<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - 10 hours ago<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - yesterday at 11:33am<b>damnitstrue</b> - yesterday at 10:52am<b>JerryClark</b> - yesterday at 1:13am<b>mike1grand19</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:33am<b>trollman202</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:13pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:36am<b>theflyingellis</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 6:06am<b>Rairaidani</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:25am<b>sureshadow</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:28am<b>Snugmybaby95</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:41am<b>Ghost_wolf</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:06pm<b>legodude28</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:37pm<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:24pm<b>EvilJip</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:08pm<b>Scarface408</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:55pm<b>LordPopo</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:26pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:40am

Liked!<b>Standupmast3r</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:33am<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 4:50am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:30pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:16pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:37am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:03pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 6:01am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:02am<b>mateo2277</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:42am<b>WarriorOmen</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 5:33am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:13pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:12pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:46pm<b>LEGATE_LANIUS</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:24am

onlychildFTW's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of onlychildFTW's badges

onlychildFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

#21378013
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30735) - you deserved it (4926)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Not for cheating or for flirting, but because I wear tighty whities. FML

#21376186
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (17071)

On 03/17/2015 at 3:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, while driving, I saw someone's hubcap blowing away behind me on the highway. I thought it was funny and sort of chuckled to myself. Later I realized it was my hubcap. FML

#21375160
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15936) - you deserved it (23998)

On 03/15/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by epicvixen - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

#21374975
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31096) - you deserved it (2322)

On 03/15/2015 at 11:01am - health - by lordtimbit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

#21371880
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (3755)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:43pm - kids - by LameChef (man) - Poland

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

#21370915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30609) - you deserved it (5660)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

#21370722
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (2757)

On 03/08/2015 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by curtain buyer - United States (New York)

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

#21369892
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (2712)

On 03/07/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33143) - you deserved it (6748)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45146) - you deserved it (1928)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36188) - you deserved it (2395)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30943) - you deserved it (3753)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

#21361729
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31139) - you deserved it (5185)

On 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (3833)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (2283)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada



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