mnblkjpoi

Search for a member

mnblkjpoi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5804
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mnblkjpoi : If you are reading this then you should probably stop creeping on me.

Or not...

mnblkjpoi's page activity

Visits<b>The666Ghost</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:40am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:33pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 11:12pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 6:11pm<b>pk24</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 4:40am

mnblkjpoi's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mnblkjpoi's favorite FMLs

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

by failure / 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

by gs / 09/19/2011 at 6:16am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

by ohgodwhy / 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

by Cooper491 / 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

by Japaroni / 09/15/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

by Brian B / 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm / United States / Work

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

by sadddddd / 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

by omfgnooo / 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

by Not_you17 / 09/09/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Georgia) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.