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Offline (the 11/27/2016 at 12:56pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2868
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About maximus_prime : Hey, I live in Brisbane, Australia. Love to read the stories and comments posted, lots of witty ppl contribute :-)

maximus_prime's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 11:32pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 7:46pm<b>TheMonroe654</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 12:53am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 9:21pm<b>deathtojesus</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:36am<b>ctosc</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:02pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 11:23pm<b>fishinpink</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 11:25pm<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 5:16am<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:27am<b>Zebediabolical</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 9:16am<b>Forbid21</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 12:21pm<b>rhyspiecesno8</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 8:15am<b>as986</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:51am<b>francej001</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:29am<b>mbbcjuliet</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 7:27pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 9:33pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 4:52pm

Fucked!<b>andrmac</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:29am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 10:52pm<b>fmlgazer</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 8:09am<b>ishnation</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 8:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:27pm<b>purple_bunnies</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 3:28am<b>as986</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 2:37am<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:34pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:37am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 1:58pm<b>bwoolf96</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:20pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 4:52pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 5:14am<b>bobbybev95</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Thatissarcastic</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 12:50am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:42am<b>interesting33</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm

maximus_prime's FML badges


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I like your style

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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maximus_prime's favorite FMLs

Today, my 10-year-old son introduced me to Tom, his new best friend, and insisted we have him over to dinner. Tom is a slug. FML

by spadesmollusques / 06/06/2016 at 1:13am / France (Alsace) / Kids

Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML

by OutOfWork.OutOfTime / 10/27/2015 at 9:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

by princeronron / 09/07/2015 at 10:02pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Animals

Today, I've been calling my girlfriend by her nickname for so long, I had to reactivate my Facebook account to find her real name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 9:56am / India (Tamil Nadu) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss / 08/26/2015 at 9:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

by Anon / 08/25/2015 at 6:10am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

by Animeislyfe / 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I had my driver's permit in an envelope to keep it safe and a letter to mail out. I drove away from the post office with the letter in my hand. FML

by JadeDemolition / 08/23/2015 at 9:40pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

by pontwa / 08/23/2015 at 9:45am / Australia / Love

Today, while enjoying the nice weather in a park, I opened my eyes to the sight of some guy jacking off, half-hidden behind a tree. FML

by ssjfml / 08/11/2015 at 10:56am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2015 at 10:01am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

by Anonynonynon / 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

by valarmorgoolies / 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous