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maximus_prime

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maximus_prime

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 506
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About maximus_prime : Hey, I live in Brisbane, Australia. Love to read the stories and comments posted, lots of witty ppl contribute :-)

maximus_prime's page activity

Visits<b>mete_orito</b> - 10 hours ago<b>tashb</b> - yesterday at 10:52pm<b>shine999</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:31am<b>robbedoes</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:46am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:42am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:33pm<b>AlphaOmega0106</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 5:01pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:34pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:05pm<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 6:09pm<b>CrazyLaughs4Me</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:04pm<b>Junnhee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:55am<b>GoBigRed</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:03am<b>weswheatley</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 10:47pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:29pm<b>Philiphead</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 4:59pm

maximus_prime's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of maximus_prime's badges

maximus_prime's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12260) - you deserved it (2271)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

#21237143
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (7636) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/14/2014 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35920) - you deserved it (3368)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38995) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42793) - you deserved it (6729)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35650) - you deserved it (16261)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

#21227320
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41635) - you deserved it (3358)

On 08/02/2014 at 1:35am - love - by bertiebeth - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50575) - you deserved it (3585)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (17547)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my school received the ranking for state tournaments. We're last. Our cheerleaders are too embarrassed to cheer for us. FML

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38911) - you deserved it (4751)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43035) - you deserved it (5106)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56039) - you deserved it (13769)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)



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