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maximus_prime

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

maximus_prime

29Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1435
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About maximus_prime : Hey, I live in Brisbane, Australia. Love to read the stories and comments posted, lots of witty ppl contribute :-)

maximus_prime's page activity

Visits<b>deathgrips</b> - yesterday at 8:22pm<b>princessEll</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:03pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 10:28am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:23am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:35am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:06pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:23am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:53pm<b>fairy1775</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 7:01am<b>owlishes</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 5:03am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:26pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:56am<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:53am<b>Destiny8745</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:48pm<b>acrochick27</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:33pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 2:10pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:52pm<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:51am

Fucked!<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:35am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:26pm<b>ohmissjane</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:50am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:56pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:05pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:06am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:09am<b>AMcM</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:45pm<b>thatonelosergirl</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:12am<b>princessEll</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:54pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:20am<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:46am<b>EKDH</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:03pm<b>reiichan</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:32pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:47pm<b>eeemily2000</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 2:33pm<b>aeore</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:03am<b>jcshadow</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:59am

maximus_prime's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of maximus_prime's badges

maximus_prime's favorite FMLs

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (18776)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you deserved it (9624)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39530) - you deserved it (3111)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (2058)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28034) - you deserved it (2540)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (9818)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42224) - you deserved it (8370)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41104) - you deserved it (9530)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35868) - you deserved it (4706)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

#21246432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37456) - you deserved it (8844)

On 08/27/2014 at 1:19pm - misc - by spark - United States (California)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40118) - you deserved it (7294)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

#21244527
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35998) - you deserved it (4221)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50527) - you deserved it (6028)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45942) - you deserved it (6046)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49619) - you deserved it (4364)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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