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manaallovesfmls's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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manaallovesfmls's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom found a box full of stuff she had been looking for. She starts going through it and finds baby pictures of my sister and I as well as pictures of the cats. She puts my baby pictures back in the box and closes the lid. The cat pictures are now hanging in her living room. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
by bride / 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
by mr.palendrome / 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML
by alone_forever / 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a large man walking behind me, I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasnt even my car. As I walked away from the other car, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML
by Fantastic / 03/03/2009 at 11:19pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by tracelee / 03/03/2009 at 4:22am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML
by Mandy / 03/01/2009 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
by dpl / 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Noname / 01/24/2009 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML
by f__k_it / 01/18/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by USSEYL / 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
by j0j0 / 11/18/2008 at 10:44pm / France (Aquitaine) / Kids
by z / 11/07/2008 at 2:14am / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…