latte759

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latte759

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 220
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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latte759's favorite FMLs

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

by Depressed / 08/04/2011 at 7:45am / Sudan / Work

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

by cek4uytp / 06/25/2011 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Love

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

by freshman / 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

by wtf / 03/14/2011 at 12:07am / Love

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

by Username / 03/12/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML

by 2dumb2drive / 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

by seepeezy32 / 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm / Intimacy

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

by nmaidkieavg / 01/25/2011 at 1:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

by Mike / 12/15/2010 at 6:57am / Work

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

by JustMyLuck / 02/12/2010 at 9:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love