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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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kristindabomb

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kristindabomb
  • Town/Country : Stockton, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17299
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kristindabomb's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

#18338380 (429)

I agree, your life sucks (9157) - you deserved it (31034)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by Andrew - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (13074) - you deserved it (1083)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (24191) - you deserved it (1901)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (12502) - you deserved it (27178)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the guy I liked how I felt by making him a mixed CD. Confident, I gave it to him. After class, I went to the trash can to throw some paper away. I saw my mixed CD in the trash. FML

#13415356 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (23244) - you deserved it (5037)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

#13213311 (45)

I agree, your life sucks (16320) - you deserved it (2507)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by amorousintx - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (8470)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (22866) - you deserved it (19830)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (8890)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (9738)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (19322) - you deserved it (35306)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (39375) - you deserved it (1670)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (3336)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for various people; 17 to be exact. It wasn't until I placed the last present on top of the stack that I realized I didn't put gift tags on any of them. FML

#6510557 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (26084)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (40555) - you deserved it (1839)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)