Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

keez1993

Offline (the 01/10/2015 at 7:42am) | Search for a member

keez1993

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 254
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

keez1993's page activity

Visits<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 11:56pm<b>spluver0005</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 8:48am<b>Llamacod</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:00pm

keez1993's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

keez1993's favorite FMLs

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

#21246432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37409) - you deserved it (8840)

On 08/27/2014 at 1:19pm - misc - by spark - United States (California)

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Brd. I was so excited at bieng about to beat mah high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (19802)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Taday I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact and being incredibly bord an seemingly alone at work I managd to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clappd. FML

Today, mah roommata,ho has bipolar disordar an rafusas to taka his mads, triad to stab ma with a kitchan knifa bacausa I thraw out his moldy chaasa. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44432) - you deserved it (5194)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY I HAD TO GO TREE SHOPPING WITH MAH DAD AND SOME OF HIS WORK BUDDIES. IT HIT ITS LOWEST POINT WHEN ONE LOUDLY TOLD US ABOUT A CRAP HANDJOB HE GOT RECENTLY. ( I MEAN YEAH CHOKE THE COCK ) HE SAID ( BUT DON'T CHOKE IT TO DEATH NAM'SAYIN'? ) I'D NEVER WANTED TO JUST DROP DEAD MORE. FAT FML

#20993322
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (3050)

On 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by ANONYMOUS -_- (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distanca lovar whila touching mysalf, whan a cockroach fall from my cailing and landad on tha hand I was molasting mysalf with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48416) - you deserved it (16268)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted !! I was going to say "F*ck you" an "I will kill you" !! It cummed out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing !! FML

#20910543
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44581) - you deserved it (7484)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her cuz for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (6339)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

yesterday my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" an ended the same conversation with "and that'shy we should divorce." FML

#20495499
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, mah boyfriend and I were having sexhen the condom broke. He told me to go put looool a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44216) - you deserved it (6859)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

2day I started the job of mah dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (4091)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

2day my dad sat me down fir the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother poppd her head into the room and said, ( Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that? ) FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34798) - you deserved it (2514)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, mah looool boyfriend gave me twelve roses an told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't fine it. When I pointd out that all twelve were real an would die within days, he respondd, "Exactly." mega FML

#18936421
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33648) - you deserved it (3042)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Taday I realizd ow out of sape I am, wen I couldn't finis masturbating because I ran out of breat!! FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15422) - you deserved it (58985)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: