Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

juliaannw

Search for a member

juliaannw

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1762
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

juliaannw's page activity

Visits<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:49am<b>The_Big_Boss</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:52am<b>3dwin4tor_1</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 6:11am<b>FreshDonuts</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:40pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 8:27pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 2:44am<b>D0M1N4T0R746</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:12pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 5:21pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 2:23pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 11:21am<b>HersheySquirts</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 11:41am<b>casual_commenter</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 1:36am<b>Dr0n3</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 11:26pm<b>bronkoz</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 9:10pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 10:15pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:44pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:31pm

juliaannw's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of juliaannw's badges

juliaannw's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

#12986098
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (12162)

On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (3902)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (14812)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41612) - you deserved it (12546)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45590) - you deserved it (14552)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (6878)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58356) - you deserved it (15060)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45624) - you deserved it (3650)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138489) - you deserved it (9956)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59675) - you deserved it (8445)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl that comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out, by writing my number on a dollar bill. She pays and a dollar is her change. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change". FML

#2043522
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43427) - you deserved it (16274)

On 05/18/2009 at 4:45am - love - by oops (man) - United States (California)

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56824) - you deserved it (3383)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

#1625172
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48234) - you deserved it (11373)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

#699285
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84798) - you deserved it (4330)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:16am - work - by matte (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML

#412946
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63162) - you deserved it (28616)

On 03/17/2009 at 2:17pm - money - by RdL (man) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: