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juliaannw

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juliaannw
  • Town/Country : Vegas, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 February 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1533
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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juliaannw's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (7055)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (8450)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

#17839190
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (2315)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm - love - by happybirthday (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mother said I am slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution: buying me a vibrator. FML

#17810951
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (6576)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:16am - intimacy - by kdmoney - United States (California)

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21655) - you deserved it (13911)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

#17789200
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25909) - you deserved it (34494) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Prinpette - France

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53210) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (11094)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35053) - you deserved it (6530)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31381) - you deserved it (3967)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (56189)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (2793)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (9021)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (7129)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27330) - you deserved it (2567)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)



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