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juliaannw's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
by happybirthday / 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love
by kdmoney / 09/23/2011 at 2:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Prinpette / 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm / France / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by I_dislike_Twilight / 09/08/2011 at 8:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health
by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by anonomys / 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.…