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juliaannw's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
by happybirthday / 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love
by kdmoney / 09/23/2011 at 2:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Prinpette / 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm / France / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by I_dislike_Twilight / 09/08/2011 at 8:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health
by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by anonomys / 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside…