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juliaannw's favorite FMLs
by BKCK4187 / 12/19/2011 at 10:23pm / United States / Intimacy
by stinkyhair / 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
by espylone / 12/17/2011 at 10:42am / France / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML
by bad blood, no shit / 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
by nirvana_mama157 / 11/28/2011 at 7:51am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by beccav23 / 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I realized why my dad got mad when he found out that my girlfriend and I have sex. Turns out… Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get… Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to…