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Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24856) - you deserved it (1739)
On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (4489) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (4621)
On 12/16/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16261) - you deserved it (2315)
On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42494) - you deserved it (2834)
On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (6679)
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37067) - you deserved it (8625)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (3214)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (5454)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24380) - you deserved it (1832)
On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (5186)
On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (22982)
Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22863) - you deserved it (2206)
On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36108) - you deserved it (2371)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41051) - you deserved it (5589)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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