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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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jdrives

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jdrives
  • Town/Country : Scranton, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4072
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jdrives : my goal in life is to avoid situations worthy of posting on this site.

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jdrives's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (36627) - you deserved it (14533)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

#1280200 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (47582) - you deserved it (1871)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:36am - work - by Idiocracy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (49768) - you deserved it (3793)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

#1224721 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (41764)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I used an airplane bathroom. I used a paper seat cover because I didn't want my butt to touch the seat. The seat cover clogged the toilet. I stuck my hand in and fished the seat cover out. I essentially stuck my hand into an airplane toilet because I didn't want my ass to touch the seat. FML

#1186504 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (9542) - you deserved it (50763)

On 04/21/2009 at 5:30am - misc - by Jen (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (70770)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was emailing my professor about what chapters our test is on this afternoon. She accidentally emailed me informing me of the date she went on last night, including that she "got laid... yay!!" and a picture. I still don't know what chapters I'm being tested on. FML

#1152672 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (84873) - you deserved it (4266)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:12pm - intimacy - by TMI (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML

#1148346 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (33659) - you deserved it (17314)

On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

#887533 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (55515) - you deserved it (10492)

On 04/09/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (19993) - you deserved it (47185)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (57809) - you deserved it (3407)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228719) - you deserved it (19504)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (87829) - you deserved it (5531)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (144028) - you deserved it (21250)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

#346119 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (91696) - you deserved it (11084)

On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)