jassporah

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jassporah

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 October 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1475
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jassporah : There's not much to tell. I'm the product of a Haitian woman and a black man with Native American blood. I can be shy. I'm always sarcastic. I love music, movies, dancing, and laughing.

if you want to, follow me on twitter @slanted_soul =]

jassporah's page activity

Visits<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:56pm<b>ptellini</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:41pm<b>miianah1</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:44pm<b>joshgwe</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 8:26am<b>erinblackk</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:56am<b>Randomness_Too</b> - the 12/15/2012 at 1:53am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 02/15/2012 at 1:06pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:54pm<b>maddawg475</b> - the 07/20/2011 at 12:43am<b>Karamelo</b> - the 05/22/2011 at 12:23pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 4:16am<b>Matt_192</b> - the 02/27/2011 at 4:50pm<b>debrisesque</b> - the 06/28/2010 at 3:36pm<b>lxclark</b> - the 06/04/2010 at 11:17pm<b>LilAfo</b> - the 06/02/2010 at 6:43am<b>miniCanadian</b> - the 05/28/2010 at 6:46pm<b>peanut69</b> - the 05/24/2010 at 9:33pm

jassporah's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

jassporah's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

by reedcarter / 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

by Zack / 04/01/2012 at 5:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

by BigBangCheater / 04/01/2012 at 6:08am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

by fulloshit / 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

by alejandro38 / 07/11/2010 at 10:44am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous