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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21590) - you deserved it (48827)
On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (125958) - you deserved it (8056)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33530) - you deserved it (146899)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56094) - you deserved it (17182)
On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19252) - you deserved it (36951)
On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - love - by Ma.Sa.La. (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16835) - you deserved it (30839)
On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22495) - you deserved it (45005)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7941) - you deserved it (57787)
On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (1684)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34179) - you deserved it (3628)
On 02/09/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by Nator (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55938) - you deserved it (19871)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (4072)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4871) - you deserved it (38933)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15067) - you deserved it (2442)
On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, it's been 2 weeks since I lost my virginity and I've already had sex with 3 guys. I think I'm a nympho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7982) - you deserved it (56921)
On 01/07/2009 at 3:16am - intimacy - by sexaddict - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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