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jared_fantastic

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jared_fantastic

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  • Number of visits : 514
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 7:47am<b>Lucia_Malpense</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 3:13am

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jared_fantastic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML

#5000239
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (6504)

On 09/02/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by littlemissignored (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

#4903891
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11795) - you deserved it (61585)

On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70435) - you deserved it (7020)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55468) - you deserved it (6874)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123698) - you deserved it (9174)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

#3267231
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39177) - you deserved it (16832)

On 06/27/2009 at 3:03am - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

#3136598
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17600) - you deserved it (41248)

On 06/23/2009 at 12:44am - animals - by Xtine (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

#2928893
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38607) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

#2881104
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (53404)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119250) - you deserved it (73924)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

#2593588
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64194) - you deserved it (3589)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

#2560457
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13133) - you deserved it (53325)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:06am - work - by failedmusician (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML

#2413563
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47046) - you deserved it (4068)

On 05/29/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Wade (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a top with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML

#2396046
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43297) - you deserved it (13027)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckerrrrr (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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