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jared_fantastic

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  • Number of visits : 558
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 7:47am<b>Lucia_Malpense</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 3:13am

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jared_fantastic's favorite FMLs

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

#8230374
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23317) - you deserved it (2176)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet. And then fling it at me. FML

#8047557
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (5899)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:56am - health - by caitplaysguitar (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

#7353049
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (3141)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

#7304615
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14189) - you deserved it (45163)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

#7234315
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25533) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

#7077814
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30368) - you deserved it (3622)

On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

#6217928
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (2187)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

#6151203
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (2681)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

#6020793
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34130) - you deserved it (2502)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

#5735299
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7242) - you deserved it (43923)

On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38783) - you deserved it (9415)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

#5001018
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39347) - you deserved it (3726)

On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)



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