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Today My Doctor Told Me To Buy Some KY Jelly And A Dildo To Help "loosen Me Up" So Sex Isn't So Painful. I Haven't Been Able To Have Sex Fir 6 Months Cuz It Hurts So Badly, And Now My Doctor Has Basically Told Me To Go Fuck Myself. Big Fat FML
Today I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge looool dump. After coming home from work I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet with the caption: "This ishat Taco Bell does."
Today, a guy asked 4 mah number . He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything.. . but u know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand . FML
Today , I lost the remote control to TV. I can't change the channel manually on it , and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial fir the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this fir an hour now. I'm a female , and I'm beginning to feel like I ned this product. FML
Friday 27 March 2015