Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jared_fantastic

Search for a member

jared_fantastic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 680
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jared_fantastic's page activity

Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 7:47am<b>Lucia_Malpense</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 3:13am

jared_fantastic's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of jared_fantastic's badges

jared_fantastic's favorite FMLs

Today , my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted im to cook me scrambled eggs wit sausage 4 breakfast. Wen I said yes , e pulled out is junk , an started saking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (9660)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND WALKD OUT OF THE BATHROOM, INFORMD ME HE'D ACCIDENTALLY PED ON THE FLOOR, AND TOLD ME I COULD CLEAN IT UPHEN I GET A CHANCE. MEGA FML

#13939042
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (4703)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by anti-peecleaner (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today My Doctor Told Me To Buy Some KY Jelly And A Dildo To Help "loosen Me Up" So Sex Isn't So Painful. I Haven't Been Able To Have Sex Fir 6 Months Cuz It Hurts So Badly, And Now My Doctor Has Basically Told Me To Go Fuck Myself. Big Fat FML

#13937569
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (7832)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today.. . I found out tat my best friend lost er virginity to my fater . Her excuse? Se was drunk . His excuse? ( Se's ot . ) FML

#13642352
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53677) - you deserved it (4008)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, ma dad planted and ( discovered ) a pack of cigarettes in ma backpack to distract ma mom from is gambling problem. mega FML

#13638786
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39235) - you deserved it (2300)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge looool dump. After coming home from work I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet with the caption: "This ishat Taco Bell does."

#13588009
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13519) - you deserved it (36672)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at mah local McDonald's having a laak whan an axtramaly intoxicatad man stumblad in, pullad down his pants, and startad to paa on mah shoas. maga FML

#13550544
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (3046)

On 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

today ma dads cremated remains cummed in te mail!! Tis is te frst time, in ma entre adult life, tat e as visited me at ma ome!! FML

#13512801
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33296) - you deserved it (2351)

On 10/19/2010 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy asked 4 mah number . He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything.. . but u know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand . FML

#13502954
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (5299)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Taday My 4 Year Old Son Told His Preschool Teacher That His Daddy Could Pick Up 10,000 Cows But Couldn't Pick Up His Mommy Because She Was Too Heavy. I'm The Mommy. FML

#13467728
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27133) - you deserved it (5575)

On 10/16/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by princessj - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to mah dog's brthday party. FML

#13465366
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (6986)

On 10/15/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by jacky tu - United States (California)

TODAY, I GAVE MAH TWO WEEKS NOTICE AT WORK . MY BOSS SIGHED WITH RELIEF AND MUTTERED, "THANK GOD." FML

#13433715
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21045) - you deserved it (5725)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today , I lost the remote control to TV. I can't change the channel manually on it , and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial fir the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this fir an hour now. I'm a female , and I'm beginning to feel like I ned this product. FML

#13403987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (9055)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I Had A Wet Dream About Having Sexual Relation With A Rubber Duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (9251)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today I received a 7 page text message during school from mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

#13373250
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (5282)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by mylifesuckssss - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: