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Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27981) - you deserved it (7651)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (3734)
On 11/22/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by anti-peecleaner (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you deserved it (6904)
On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44535) - you deserved it (2968)
On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31930) - you deserved it (1646)
On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10644) - you deserved it (31684)
On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (2218)
On 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)
Today, my dads cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time, in my entire adult life, that he has visited me at my home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (2028)
On 10/19/2010 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15788) - you deserved it (598)
On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21328) - you deserved it (4919)
On 10/16/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by princessj - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (5188)
On 10/15/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by jacky tu - United States (California)
Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16044) - you deserved it (4444)
On 10/13/2010 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (8023)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (6997)
On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20906) - you deserved it (4019)
On 10/09/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by mylifesuckssss - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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