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Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (5513)
On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore
Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8979) - you deserved it (22442)
On 05/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by alchy (woman) - United States
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you deserved it (4361)
On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (2937)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by sosadstudent (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (718)
On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40527) - you deserved it (4624)
On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (4433)
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37419) - you deserved it (3079)
On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34604) - you deserved it (3151)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by anon -
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16850) - you deserved it (9257)
On 03/22/2011 at 11:39am - health - by Maddie -
Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25020) - you deserved it (4942)
On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59834) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (7644)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (3730)
On 11/22/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by anti-peecleaner (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (6852)
On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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