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jared_fantastic

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  • Number of visits : 543
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 7:47am<b>Lucia_Malpense</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 3:13am

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jared_fantastic's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML

#17076544
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (5498)

On 07/12/2011 at 3:14am - love - by Jackie Campbell - United States (Colorado)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44621) - you deserved it (4196)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60930) - you deserved it (4746)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (6987)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore

Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

#16014326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11432) - you deserved it (31554)

On 05/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by alchy (woman) - United States

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44872) - you deserved it (4801)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

#15861693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (3913)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by sosadstudent (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40557) - you deserved it (5587)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

#15846054
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46287) - you deserved it (5690)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

#15800511
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (5741)

On 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm - work - by :| - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

#15712381
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43741) - you deserved it (3905)

On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

#15442986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39320) - you deserved it (3499)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by anon -

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

#15430583
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21515) - you deserved it (11883)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:39am - health - by Maddie -

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69751) - you deserved it (6565)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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