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jackmeizter's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
jackmeizter's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by randomguy / 07/09/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
by pissed off / 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by potatoebee / 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm / United States (South Carolina) / Kids
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
by Wannabees / 04/03/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by halfasleep / 03/27/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (California) / Animals
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- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…