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jackmeizter

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jackmeizter

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  • Number of visits : 288
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jackmeizter's page activity

Visits<b>hogman500</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 2:25pm<b>CheckMyProfile</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 7:51am

jackmeizter's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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jackmeizter's favorite FMLs

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23555) - you deserved it (2046)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

#19914147
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19883) - you deserved it (10624)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:09am - love - by randomguy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

#19900187
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40737) - you deserved it (4193)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18301) - you deserved it (2112)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (54798)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

#19401263
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13712) - you deserved it (22822)

On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

#19399139
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5774) - you deserved it (32419)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:13am - misc - by Wannabees (woman) - Canada

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

#19372815
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11168) - you deserved it (19894)

On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML

#19356706
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17197) - you deserved it (12131)

On 03/27/2012 at 10:00am - health - by halfasleep (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21249) - you deserved it (3823)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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