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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I flew to Syracuse to visit my girlfriend. Upon arrival, I found out she's seeing someone else. I spent $400 to sleep on my ex-girlfriend's couch while she and her new boyfriend slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (4154)
On 05/23/2011 at 4:42pm - love - by flightnfight (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51246) - you deserved it (7802)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)
Today, while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (5526)
On 05/21/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by wolfie898 - United States (Texas)
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21339) - you deserved it (10599)
On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (2494)
On 05/20/2011 at 1:46am - love - by BALEIGHLOVE17 -
Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (15521)
On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47662)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35530) - you deserved it (2586)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56322) - you deserved it (3356)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (9439)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7354) - you deserved it (33929)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32730) - you deserved it (11390)
On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (25312)
On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90776) - you deserved it (9942)
On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)
Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10545) - you deserved it (39625)
On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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