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italianmafia

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italianmafia

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  • Number of visits : 1665
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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italianmafia's page activity

Visits<b>jiraii</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 9:29am

italianmafia's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of italianmafia's badges

italianmafia's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34953) - you deserved it (7156)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML

#17657793
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (2475)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39045) - you deserved it (5619)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

#17649576
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35682) - you deserved it (3385)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31562) - you deserved it (3750)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

#17642132
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27459) - you deserved it (3902)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15634) - you deserved it (53345)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

#17611255
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9272) - you deserved it (36061)

On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

#17609148
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10569) - you deserved it (44420)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

#17609010
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (2090)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:06am - misc - by Ariella - Singapore

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (8692)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

#17594618
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (3712)

On 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (49177)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

#17583731
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23438) - you deserved it (3176)

On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)



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