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italianmafia

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italianmafia

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2068
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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italianmafia's page activity

Visits<b>csi</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:23am<b>jiraii</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 9:29am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:29am

italianmafia's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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italianmafia's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML

#17657793
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30742) - you deserved it (2611)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42145) - you deserved it (5950)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

#17649576
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38640) - you deserved it (3636)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34604) - you deserved it (4014)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

#17642132
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30297) - you deserved it (4187)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17132) - you deserved it (56805)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33919) - you deserved it (3672)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

#17611255
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (38602)

On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

#17609148
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11890) - you deserved it (47487)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

#17609010
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31778) - you deserved it (2194)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:06am - misc - by Ariella - Singapore

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33564) - you deserved it (9316)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

#17594618
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31758) - you deserved it (3765)

On 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
683 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (52427)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

#17583731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (3193)

On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20620) - you deserved it (54298)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)



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