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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12554) - you deserved it (38888)
On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (2352)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7287) - you deserved it (24643)
On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)
Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8173) - you deserved it (31427)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States
Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24823) - you deserved it (1469)
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24381) - you deserved it (6248)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24005) - you deserved it (2646)
On 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (36765)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18671) - you deserved it (2322)
On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14711) - you deserved it (36633)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (4595)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40417) - you deserved it (1700)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)
Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24699) - you deserved it (3844)
On 06/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by notastoner (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37410) - you deserved it (4230)
On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29940) - you deserved it (10445)
On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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