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italianmafia

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italianmafia

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1937
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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italianmafia's page activity

Visits<b>csi</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:23am<b>jiraii</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 9:29am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:29am

italianmafia's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of italianmafia's badges

italianmafia's favorite FMLs

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38494) - you deserved it (11395)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46540) - you deserved it (8280)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

#17794550
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31384) - you deserved it (5492)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (8307)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53293) - you deserved it (6359)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36423) - you deserved it (23418)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to fire an employee because she constantly calls in, or is late to work. She became very emotional and I felt kind of bad, so I walked her out myself. We then got stuck in the company elevator. FML

#17750469
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (3526)

On 09/15/2011 at 9:47am - work - by thatsmejl (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19456) - you deserved it (33310)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89419) - you deserved it (13965)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37928) - you deserved it (4776)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
595 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (247497)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15423) - you deserved it (49403)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30608) - you deserved it (4080)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36250) - you deserved it (7343)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)



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