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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42653) - you deserved it (4477)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (16954)
On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to fire an employee because she constantly calls in, or is late to work. She became very emotional and I felt kind of bad, so I walked her out myself. We then got stuck in the company elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20223) - you deserved it (2490)
On 09/15/2011 at 9:47am - work - by thatsmejl (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15590) - you deserved it (23048)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71991) - you deserved it (9157)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31757) - you deserved it (3545)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15014) - you deserved it (191792)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11937) - you deserved it (35902)
On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23953) - you deserved it (2875)
On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (5185)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (2110)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33372) - you deserved it (5033)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (3015)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)
Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25119) - you deserved it (2659)
On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22055) - you deserved it (2846)
On 09/02/2011 at 4:02am - health - by WoWWidow (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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