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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (2665)
On 02/27/2012 at 6:06am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - United States
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (1680)
On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7292) - you deserved it (38904)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29717) - you deserved it (4054)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (4388)
Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27535) - you deserved it (2451)
On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14470) - you deserved it (1669)
On 09/30/2011 at 12:50am - work - by nearlythere - Australia
Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (3003)
On 09/25/2011 at 12:03am - kids - by Lolaa123 - United States
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (1874)
On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35903) - you deserved it (3189)
On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31857) - you deserved it (9879)
On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38661) - you deserved it (7361)
On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25364) - you deserved it (4085)
On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7987) - you deserved it (37221)
On 09/21/2011 at 2:47am - work - by f_ck_U (man) - China (Zhejiang)
Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (7248)
On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Friday 24 May 2013
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