Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

italianmafia

Search for a member

italianmafia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1583
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

italianmafia's page activity

Visits<b>jiraii</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 9:29am

italianmafia's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of italianmafia's badges

italianmafia's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (7541)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45215) - you deserved it (13033)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

#14909703
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51330) - you deserved it (13541)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML

#14908871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (11877)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

#14881052
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9927) - you deserved it (48249)

On 02/07/2011 at 10:47am - health - by Raprotcommander (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68062) - you deserved it (6258)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML

#14820910
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (5779)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

#14813410
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33565) - you deserved it (6799)

On 02/02/2011 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by jessica - United States (Utah)

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6762) - you deserved it (49177)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (3265)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7767) - you deserved it (58212)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14887) - you deserved it (48471)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40053) - you deserved it (8576)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

#14277581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (7343)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39075) - you deserved it (9385)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: