Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

italianmafia

Search for a member

italianmafia

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1667
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

italianmafia's page activity

Visits<b>jiraii</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 9:29am

italianmafia's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of italianmafia's badges

italianmafia's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

#15712381
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43739) - you deserved it (3905)

On 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by Jill - United States (New York)

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (45703)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML

#15588696
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46082) - you deserved it (7502)

On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39040) - you deserved it (9502)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69943) - you deserved it (9644)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (15415)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55170) - you deserved it (27679)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48695) - you deserved it (8012)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39819) - you deserved it (3250)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70581) - you deserved it (15315)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47749) - you deserved it (27082)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

#15395122
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53776) - you deserved it (4128)

On 03/20/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48345) - you deserved it (7850)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18200) - you deserved it (82821)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109063) - you deserved it (6557) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: