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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 September 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9747
  • Number of comments : 1973
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About illmatic2 : I've been here for a while.

I'm really good at minesweeper.

illmatic2's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:47pm<b>rissamarie</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:41pm<b>nightwalker52</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 12:09am<b>Avititoe12</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 10:43am<b>Allornone</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 10:28pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 4:56am<b>Jackek</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:47am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 11:14pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:06pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 4:59am<b>luniat</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 8:09pm<b>zerolight</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 3:48am<b>Nexa</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:24pm<b>porsimonkija</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 10:29am<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:33am<b>Poppy_buchanan</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:23am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:25am<b>NoName011</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:57am

Fucked!<b>Avititoe12</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 4:43pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:14am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:15pm

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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illmatic2's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45393) - you deserved it (13375)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36852) - you deserved it (10430)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (4165)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40477) - you deserved it (10243)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44621) - you deserved it (7920)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML


I agree, your life sucks (29797) - you deserved it (7367)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29048) - you deserved it (4140)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24553) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by sexxibxmami - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (5691)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (73340) - you deserved it (43712)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29941) - you deserved it (80945)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (51878)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

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