About illmatic2 : I've been here for a while.
I'm really good at minesweeper.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (2015)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria
Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (48330)
On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (4440)
Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17842) - you deserved it (2713)
On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24163) - you deserved it (3268)
On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49883) - you deserved it (4547) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (5074) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (15706) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16158) - you deserved it (4409)
On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16178) - you deserved it (2203)
On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16178) - you deserved it (2203)
On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4333) - you deserved it (52731)
On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6941) - you deserved it (31973)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (3045)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24580) - you deserved it (1790)
On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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