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illmatic2

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illmatic2

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 September 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8977
  • Number of comments : 1972
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About illmatic2 : I've been here for a while.

I'm really good at minesweeper.

illmatic2's page activity

Visits<b>shiefu</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:34am<b>obnum</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 10:31pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:07am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:04am<b>akirakuran42</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:40pm<b>starsierra</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:04am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:00pm<b>CatRoyal</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:25am<b>potatonugget100</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 12:31am<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:57pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:39pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:39am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:16am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:10am<b>Tigre5012</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:06pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:55am<b>jrod9327</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:32am

illmatic2's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of illmatic2's badges

illmatic2's favorite FMLs

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (2365)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20475) - you deserved it (63885)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

#15800511
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28297) - you deserved it (5733)

On 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm - work - by :| - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (4136)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58856) - you deserved it (6104) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32889) - you deserved it (5653) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (19906) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

#13624722
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (5711)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (3036)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (3036)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5666) - you deserved it (58800)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

#13408997
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (43081)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

#13074561
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (2479)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm - health - by hmb - United States (Louisiana)



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