illmatic2

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illmatic2

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10132
  • Number of comments : 1975
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About illmatic2 : I've been here for a while.

I'm really good at minesweeper.

illmatic2's page activity

Visits<b>junjunbun</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 9:05am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:24am<b>KappaTrappa</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:54pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 9:15pm<b>nicebutdim</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Checker</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 6:37pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:26pm<b>MyUsernameKatie</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:39am<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:29am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:26am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 1:54pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:37am<b>rebow</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:11pm<b>Obito_Uchiha651</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:03am<b>Logical07</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:06am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:22am<b>Ilmoran</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:17am<b>panromantic</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 7:07am

Fucked!<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:30am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:40pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:40am<b>Avititoe12</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 4:43pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:14am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:15pm

illmatic2's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of illmatic2's badges

illmatic2's favorite FMLs

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2011 at 4:40am / Austria / Intimacy

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2011 at 7:21am / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

by :| / 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

by datingamoron / 02/14/2011 at 2:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

by anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 12:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / Belgium / Miscellaneous

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

by djoe / 10/28/2010 at 8:00am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

by hmb / 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health