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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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illmatic2

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illmatic2
  • Town/Country : ???????, America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 7 September 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 7209
  • Number of comments : 1873
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About illmatic2 : I don't comment much anymore, and I usually just lurk around the comments section and read the old conversations from back in the day.

I miss the days where we were aloud to get in arguments/debates and talk about whatever we wanted.

Go ahead and send me a message, I'll always respond.

illmatic2's last visitors

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illmatic2's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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illmatic2's favorite FMLs

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (3692)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard - Reserved

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (3796) - you deserved it (11444)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (20395) - you deserved it (1295)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (4143)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (14798) - you deserved it (21934)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (7538) - you deserved it (887)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (38219) - you deserved it (5164)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

#17854622 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (3820)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (2397)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (11850) - you deserved it (833)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, I'm too sunburned to masturbate. Now I have nothing to do. FML

#16432194 (321)

I agree, your life sucks (5669) - you deserved it (17739)

On 05/31/2011 at 7:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

#15800511 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (21829) - you deserved it (4195)

On 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm - work - by :| - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (16589) - you deserved it (2542)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (22455) - you deserved it (3042)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (45714) - you deserved it (4153) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins