ihpb09

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ihpb09

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10894
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ihpb09's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 11:26pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 10:54pm<b>danza</b> - the 04/02/2009 at 6:05am<b>bukopandan</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 12:58am<b>unfixie</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 9:20pm

ihpb09's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ihpb09's favorite FMLs

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

by vibratorgirl / 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

by ubbernoob / 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

by you would / 03/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

by loser / 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

by iliketurtles / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

by Tennisplayer / 02/10/2009 at 12:59am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

by fml / 02/05/2009 at 6:41am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

by Noname / 01/19/2009 at 5:26am / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

by ren / 01/13/2009 at 3:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love