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ihpb09

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ihpb09
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Ontario
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 8959
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ihpb09's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

#240686
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52350) - you deserved it (66661)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18216) - you deserved it (64588)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (452575) - you deserved it (32024)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (121867)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122924) - you deserved it (6384)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (312927) - you deserved it (23442)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1097205) - you deserved it (108923)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55231) - you deserved it (6561)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (737277) - you deserved it (74041)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (737277) - you deserved it (74041)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218297) - you deserved it (77979)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (37081)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

#9285
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33984) - you deserved it (8841)

On 02/05/2009 at 6:41am - work - by fml (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27195) - you deserved it (8626)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



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