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ihpb09

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ihpb09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9600
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ihpb09's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 11:26pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 10:54pm<b>danza</b> - the 04/02/2009 at 6:05am<b>bukopandan</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 12:58am<b>unfixie</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 9:20pm

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ihpb09's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "how did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?". She yelled from the other room, "you know that little plate with the red stripe". I was eating off of it. FML

#327078
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81527) - you deserved it (6923)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by imfullthanks (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171597) - you deserved it (21456)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (109764)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132824) - you deserved it (10269)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13984) - you deserved it (126034)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you deserved it (65271)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266514) - you deserved it (48406)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (142624) - you deserved it (15992)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

#272262
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34022) - you deserved it (90509)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Zack (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

#267368
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24274) - you deserved it (75664)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29200) - you deserved it (86846)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

#259383
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (56052)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:56am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66567) - you deserved it (21580)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was reading my girlfriend's girly magazine. There was an article stating that if a girl tells a guy his dick is the perfect size, she really means that it is too small. My girlfriend claims everything in the magazine is right. She told me my dick was the perfect size last weekend. FML



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