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ihpb09

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ihpb09
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Ontario
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 8946
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ihpb09's favorite FMLs

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

#2271670
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43787) - you deserved it (2707)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:14am - work - by EMT_Koulianos (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72858) - you deserved it (4277)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

#2267946
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78887) - you deserved it (4353)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:54am - intimacy - by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling really down. So I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML

#2264507
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33168) - you deserved it (51563)

On 05/25/2009 at 1:39am - love - by downer (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother came up to me a swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML

#2262925
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43714) - you deserved it (2523)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

#2247907
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47541) - you deserved it (3874)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by beep_guacamole (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (113986)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48872) - you deserved it (17573)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (247994) - you deserved it (14288)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, i had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. right when i finished, i ran out of gas. My 83 year old grandmother saw. FML

#1347593
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9557) - you deserved it (72278)

On 04/26/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by waltzy777 - United States (Indiana)

Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML

#1312643
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54564) - you deserved it (12379)

On 04/25/2009 at 2:39am - work - by CollegeGrad (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

#1297315
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58302) - you deserved it (7984)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41898) - you deserved it (19538)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (57648)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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