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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ihpb09

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ihpb09
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Ontario
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 December 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 7586
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ihpb09's favorite FMLs

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33662) - you deserved it (6912)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

#8519094 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (3467) - you deserved it (29635)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by anna14 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (2470)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML

#2938815 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (37050) - you deserved it (23527)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

#2933331 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (41944) - you deserved it (3331)

On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (61400) - you deserved it (3889)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (64268) - you deserved it (3598)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a horrible day at work, came home early and burst into tears as soon as I was in the door. I curled up on the sofa, still bawling, and my cat came over and jumped up for a cuddle. I gave her a hug and she threw up down my back. FML

#2912753 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (37374) - you deserved it (2864)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML

#2907307 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (34864) - you deserved it (1813)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by bronzemedal97 (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I used a porta-potty. After I came out, my mom came out of one and said "I really wish I could wash my hands." I explained that I used the little soap bar that was on the side of the toilet in mine. She told me that was a urinal and the soap bar was a disinfectant bar. FML

#2903638 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (11219) - you deserved it (40751)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by hockeyfanaticx87 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

#2308066 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (61067) - you deserved it (13543)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (55466) - you deserved it (5489)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was teaching my Chinese students spoken English when they got into a heated argument. When I finally got their attention, I told them to continue the argument in English. They were arguing over my bra size. They are all female teenagers. They then asked me to show them my bra. FML

#2301370 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (38938) - you deserved it (3953)

On 05/26/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML

#2299417 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (33691) - you deserved it (1759)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Allen (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

#2298353 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (44187) - you deserved it (12460)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:38am - kids - by tsakashvili (man) - United States (Iowa)



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