About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 4:55am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML
by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
by uninvited / 02/04/2016 at 10:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML
by InDebt / 02/03/2016 at 11:47pm / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation
by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML
by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML
by wideeyeddays / 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
by I Tried / 01/29/2016 at 5:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML
by ALL PRAISE TO THE NIGHT MOTHER / 01/29/2016 at 4:19pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML
by Sandman2015 / 01/29/2016 at 1:36pm / United States (Utah) / Work
Today, I got call from the manager for a company I applied for. Turns out, he mixed up my friend's phone number with mine, since we applied on the same day, so the manager accidentally hired her instead of me. He said the position is still mine if I want it, but they will have to let her go. FML
by speaknoevil1 / 01/29/2016 at 1:03am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, after weeks of debating with myself, I finally got the courage to ask out my best friend of 9 years. She turned me down, saying that dating me would be like adopting a puppy, and she doesn't want that kind of responsibility. FML
by adoptablepuppy / 01/28/2016 at 8:17pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/28/2016 at 11:26am / United Kingdom / Health