About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19052) - you deserved it (57923)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29786) - you deserved it (2069)
On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States
Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37755) - you deserved it (2654)
On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (3731)
On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45967) - you deserved it (3283)
On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (2038)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33112) - you deserved it (1761)
On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States
Today, I got dumped during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53190) - you deserved it (5533)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30154) - you deserved it (16995)
On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60669) - you deserved it (5773)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (1765)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Imafishyfishy (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (4581)
On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8065) - you deserved it (48659)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States
Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (2036)
On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7560) - you deserved it (67574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Friday 24 May 2013
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