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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8292
  • Number of comments : 553
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24869) - you deserved it (33483)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (7561)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63184) - you deserved it (4147)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71109) - you deserved it (4251)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

#20654832
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45898) - you deserved it (4308)

On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39995) - you deserved it (3733)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

#20651954
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (8021)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

#20651461
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52963) - you deserved it (3097)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

#20649796
117 comments

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41518) - you deserved it (8698)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (9432)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

#20649270
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64715) - you deserved it (5333)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:41am - health - by Carrie - United States (California)

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36428) - you deserved it (10519)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (5949)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)



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