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i_wuz_nver_here

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i_wuz_nver_here
  • Town/Country : Seattle, Washington,, America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13942
  • Number of comments : 571
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About i_wuz_nver_here : I was bored so I made this account. Hi.

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i_wuz_nver_here's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30423) - you deserved it (3988)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7401) - you deserved it (40735)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (4581)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

#13300010
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22533) - you deserved it (4268)

On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

#13300010
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22533) - you deserved it (4268)

On 10/03/2010 at 3:40am - kids - by notyouagain (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (2896)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21528) - you deserved it (27143)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

#13268131
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

#13268131
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

#13241865
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33817) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

#13241865
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33817) - you deserved it (2143)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I hurt my jaw after I got hit by a car. While receiving medical attention, the paramedic accidentally punched me in the face. FML

#13233409
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26074) - you deserved it (2233)

On 09/28/2010 at 7:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (42621)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6995) - you deserved it (69114)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6995) - you deserved it (69114)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)



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